thanksgiving pickup lines

So, technically we’re not blood related, right? Because those juicy breasts are making me hungry!

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Thanksgiving is great because people tend to speak less when food is lodged in their mouths.

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I put the “pump” in pumpkin pie.

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You have to smoke a couple of bowls before Thanksgiving dinner. I can't think of a better time to have the munchies.

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Wanna take a look at my meat thermometer?

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Come over on Black Friday. We can have sex and left-over from Thanksgiving dinner. Did I mention my mom is a great cook.

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Hope your Turkey is moist and your stuffing in fluffy and when you're done eating you'll be nice and stuffy.

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You can call me Tryptophan, because you'll be all sleepy after I'm done with you!

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Mmm cranberry sauce.

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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. -Johnny Carson

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Why don’t you put down that second piece of pie, pretty pilgrim. I think it’s high time you discovered my Plymouth rock.

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Wow, that's one fantastic spread!

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My corn always wear a husk.

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If you didn't want to sit at the kids' table then you shouldn't have seen the new Twilight movie.

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No need to get up for seconds! I’m more than happy to let you gobble off of my plate!

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I have a thing for butterballs.

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Would you like to try some of this dark meat?

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I've got a little something for you to gobble on.

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I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium.

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I’d love to stuff your turkey, sweetheart.

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Do you wanna ride my mayflower?

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My aunt is bringing her homemade cranberry sauce to our Thanksgiving dinner, and my uncle is bringing his blatant racism!

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Let's play pilgrims and native Americans; I'll lure you over under false pretenses and we'll feast.

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For the first time, we are going to have a HAPPY Thanksgiving. This year, I am stuffing the turkey with Prozac!

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You've got the juiciest breasts in town.

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I checked the meat thermometer, and you’re officially one hot bird.

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There's only one cavity that I want to stuff, if you know what I mean.

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This turkey looks great. So are you a breast man or a thigh man?

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I’ve got a little something for you to gobble on.

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I'm excited about Thanksgiving because I love unwelcome parenting advice from relatives I see twice a year.

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There is a special place in hell for people that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving.

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I’d love to get you in my gravy boat.

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I’m the opposite of a turkey… I cook for four and a half hours after my timer pops!

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Dear Turkeys, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, women.

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Want to break the wishbone? I’m wishing for a date with you.

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Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.

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You’re the only girl I'd ever share my secret method to moist turkey with!

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Thanksgiving dinner isn’t the only thing that will make you wanna loosen your belt.

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I'm a real master baster.

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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

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Want to really freak someone out? Add 2 extra turkey legs to the turkey when it's in the oven.

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You put the "ass" in "casserole"

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If I was a turkey, I'd be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.

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They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.

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On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment ..... halftime.

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Damn, girl, you’ve got some fine yams.

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If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?

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When you're around.

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Happy Turkey Day, America! Don't forget to name the turkey and make everyone uncomfortable.

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You don't need Thanksgiving to hate your family.

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Black Friday is best enjoyed by deleting names of people who sent stupid thanksgiving messages.

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I'd love to stuff your turkey, sweetheart.

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I can give you something to really be thankful about!

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You’re like Thanksgiving dinner — delicious, satisfying, and after we’re done, I’ll probably fall asleep.

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Those juicy breasts are making me hungry!

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