insurance pickup lines

Do you like cats? Because your medical history is puurrrrfect.

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Be my Beneficiary!

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Good thing I just bought term life insurance, because I saw you and my heart stopped!

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You are all assets and no liabilities

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Life without DI would be like a broken pencil: pointless.

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I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but I sell disability insurance for a living.

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I like Legos. You like Legos. Let’s build a relationship.

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Your disability insurance policy is like pizza: Even when it’s bad, it’s good.

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I would love to speak with you regarding your insurance just before you die; when will that be?

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I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran my boat into yours. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.Boating/Sailing

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I’m sure you get this all the time, but you look a lot like my next client.

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Kiss me if I’m wrong, but you don’t need disability insurance, right?

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Does your father sell diamonds? Because your script check was flawless.

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Can I take your picture to prove to my coworkers that perfection does exist?

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Excuse me, I think I dropped something. Oh, wait. Nope, that’s just your premium.

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Don’t lie on your personal history interview. You wouldn’t want to mess with perfection.

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Guy: Does your ass have Allstate insurance? Girl: No, why? Guy: Well do you want it to be in good hands?

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I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

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Did you list “boxer” as your occupation? Because you’re a knockout client.

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Does your ass have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands?

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Rejection can lead to emotional stress, which in turn can cause severe medical problems. So before you turn me down, let’s a get a disability insurance policy in place.

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I hope you have pet insurance, because I’m about to destroy your pussy.

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I was blinded by your beauty; I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.

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Good thing I just bought term life insurance… because I saw you and my heart stopped!

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You must be a magician, because when I submitted your app, the underwriting problems disappeared.

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Girl you're so expensive my insurance is requiring a prior authorization before our first date.

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I hope you got flood insurance cause you're about to get wet

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Is your last name Gillette? Because you’re the best an agent can get.

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Let's make it official and finally get that certificate... of insurance.

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Do you have car insurance? Because I never take it slow and I'd totally wreck you.

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Does your ass have Allstate insurance? (No, why?) Well do you want it to be in good hands?

dirty

Hey baby, I can put you on my health insurance policy.

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I’ll be the Dairy Queen and you’ll be the Burger King. I’ll treat you right and we can do it your way — the application, I mean.

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Are you going to schedule a meeting with me, or do I have to lie to my diary?

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I was blinded by your beauty so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

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Some doctors might say you’re afraid of commitment. Sign right here and let’s prove them all wrong.

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If you fall for me, this DI will support you.

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Is your last name Campbell? Because this medical history is “mmm…mmm good!”

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I may not be a genie, but I can make your insurance dreams come true.

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I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran my boat into yours. So, I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

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I hope you have insurance on that body, because you just put a dent in my pants.

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On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you to meet this week?

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Girl, be with me and I will be the best unemployment insurance that you will ever have.

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Maybe we should talk about life insurance before it's too late.

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Movie stars give thousands of signatures a day. All I’m asking for is just one from you.

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Let's go to my office and go over some claims.

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I will held liable for all bodily injury or property damage.

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Dr. Phil thinks you’re afraid of commitment. Sign here and let’s prove him wrong.

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You probably are not under my premium coverage, but I am willing to take the risk.

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Do you have pet insurance? because i'm about to smash your pussy.

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Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do you want to see that quote again?

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I might have to ask you to leave my office. You’re making my other clients look bad.

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Wanna talk about our Private Mortgage Insurance?

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Are you insured for sex?

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