grocery-store-supermarket-farmers-market pickup lines

Nice basket. Wait! No! I didn't mean it like that. On the upside, you're really good at slapping people in the face.

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What do you do in your off season?

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I've got some meat here that's 'Best if used by tonight.

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I don't work at this store, but may I be of assistance to you anyway?

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I hear spices like cayenne can act as an aphrodisiac? Do you know?

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Okay, here’s the deal: I’ll let you take the last stuffed crust frozen pizza if you let me take you to dinner. At your house. Where we’ll be having frozen pizza.

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Wow—funny MEAT-ing you here. Get it? How 'meat' and 'meet' are homophones? You should help me stop talking.

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I like my men like my homemade bread, dense.

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Does your Dad own Snapple, because you're made of the best stuff on earth.

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What’s your favorite late night snack? Pie? I’ll buy 6 of them. That way you’ll have something to munch on after our fierce yet tender bang sesh.

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Can I help you carry your groceries to the car?

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This diaper rash ointment isn't for my ass, it's for a tattoo that just so happens to be on my ass.

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I don't believe in lean pork. I like a lady with meat on her bones.

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Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?

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You are so hot. I bet I could cook an egg right there on your ass cheek.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? But really, I don’t think you’re supposed to put the bananas in your pocket. They have plastic bags for that.

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I hate oranges. Will you be my main squeeze?

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Can I wear your plaid flannel when I make you breakfast tomorrow morning?

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Do you know which aisle the edible underwear is in? Oh wait, wrong store!

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Looks like you’re buying meat. Cool.

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I'm trying to convince myself that Corn Pops are healthy.

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I forgot my reusable bag, can I borrow one of yours?

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Are we in the laxatives aisle? 'Cause the thought of hooking up with you is running though my mind like crazy.

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You must be NUTS to shop here, but that's quite a (pih)STASH(io) you've got! cah-SHEW! I just sneezed. Please come back. I swear I'll stop.

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Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!

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How do you know when an avocado is ripe?

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I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve got 3 bags of Cool Ranch Doritos in your basket. Marry me?

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I see you’re pretty skilled at churning your butter.

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Just call me Elvis 'cause I love my meat tender.

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I'm buying this T-Bone for my dog. I'm really a vegetarian that respects all walks of life – especially women.

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You sure have big baguettes!

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I’ve always wanted to be a farmer’s wife.

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Egg whites are for pussies. A real man doesn't criticize an egg for it's fatty parts, he loves an egg just the way it is.

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This isn't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for the love machine.

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Let me help you with that.

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What a small world! I belong to the Safeway Club, too!

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I believe a woman should eat as much chocolate as she pleases.

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There are over six hundred varieties of heirloom tomatoes, but there’s only one of me.

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I don't chew gum. I'd prefer to nibble on your ear while whispering sweet nothings into it.

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Our love would be 100% organic.

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Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana?' I mean, you know the joke 'orange you glad...?' What I'm saying is, I'd like to make out with you.

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These Heirloom tomatoes are so firm and juicy.

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It’s funny how slippery this jam is!

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Want to cross pollinate?

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I buy garbage bags because I always take out the garbage.

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So how would you like to become a stock *man*?

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Look like we've got a long wait here in the check out line, so why don't we get acquainted.

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I like chicken breast. Actually, I love all breasts.

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Clean up in Aisle BVD!

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Wow, looks like dinner's at your place tonight.

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I'm buying some stuff for a party later today. Would you like to join me?

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Pssst! My piggly is wiggly.

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Orange you glad citrus is finally in season?

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There is no expiration date for true love.

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It says right here that this frozen pizza is enough for two.

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Price check for mixed roasted nuts on aisle 69!

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If you were a bouquet of fresh cut flowers, I would take you home.

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Baby, you better get out of that express lane, 'cause you're all that *and* a bag of chips.

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You put the hot in hothouse… cucumbers. Too much? Sorry. Maybe we should make out.

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These peppers are, like, so yellow. Which reminds me—what are you doing Saturday?

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I avoid the candy aisle because I'm sweet enough on my own.

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I’d offer to help you carry those bags, but I threw my back out saving an orphan from a runaway paddleboat. Little tyke didn’t even see it coming. Thank god I was there.

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I don't own a cat. I'm buying this cat food because I rescue a kitten from a tree at least once a week.

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I think grapes are very sensual.

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I actually prefer that life give me lemons so that I can make a pretty lady like you some lemonade on a hot Summer's day.

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You know, a sack full of groceries can't hug you back. On the other hand, I totally can.

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Reading a shopping list, eh? I see we're both fans of the classics.

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I hear lavender makes underwear drawers smell nice, does it?

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I like baby carrots because they totally fit in your mouth.

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Want to come over later and help me shuck?

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What a coincidence! You've got butter in your cart, and I've got a copy of 'Last Tango in Paris' at home!

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Paper or latex? I mean latex or plastic? You know what I mean.

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Let’s just say that my peach-squeezing skills extend to other fruits as well. Like boobs.

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You know it's really dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because with your looks you could melt all this stuff!

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Let's 'bag' this place and go get a coffee. And yes, I am proud of that pun.

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Is your name Pepsi? Because you sure are sizzling.

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I’m a man at a farmers market. Of course I’m a catch.

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How long does it take for your bread to rise?

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I really can't finish a box of strawberry all by myself, Would you like to share with me over some wine?

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Ain't nothing sticky about those buns – they look nice and smooth.

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Don’t you just love stone fruit?

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What a huge eggplant.

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This beer has a very sensual taste. What were you thinking of when you brewed it?

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I always like to keep my place stocked with coffee and breakfast food in case I don't wake up alone.

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How early do you rise?

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Funny meat-ing you here.

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My meat is very interested in being inside of your fridge.

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I had a great time tonight. Would you like to plan the second date?

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What are you doing hanging out in aisle 3? You clearly belong in aisle 9. Aisle 10 is within arm's reach but that all depends on whether or not you'll have dinner with me.

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What else can you pickle?

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What it doesn't say on the back of that can of whipped cream is that it tastes really good on my skin.

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Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's out of business. And, speaking of Hershey's, how about a kiss?

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Let's make like fabric softener and snuggle.

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Do you know if they sell organic Oreos?

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The expiration date says "best if used by tonight." Can I make you dinner?

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You know, it ain't often that I see a lady buying pork rinds, and when I see a lady buying pork rinds, I says to myself, 'This is one chick I *got* to get to know better.

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If I give you my extra coupon will you write my number on it?

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Do you prefer organic or local? Because I’m both.

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It's the end of the world — again! (At magazine rack)

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Do you need helping seeding your flower garden for next season?

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You can have that last bag of chips if I can bag your number.

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Oh, you’re out of eggs? That’s ok, you can have mine.

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What’s your favorite way to eat rhubarb? [Wait for answer] I’d love to make it for you.

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Is it really cold in frozen foods, or are you just happy to see me?

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Let’s pick up some artisanal breads and make a baby.

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This bushel is so dry, let’s change that.

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If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be?

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This selection is nuts.

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Have you ever frolicked in the fields of [name of your favorite farm]?

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I’d love to do a vegetable wash for you.

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Your hands seem to be full. I have big panniers you can borrow to bike all that produce home.

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Can I be your next varietal?

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How much of this caviar do you think I can get into the trunk of my Ferrari?

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These bags of organic spinach would make some great pillows don’t you think?

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Want to show me how to make steamy greens?

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I’d love a taste of that [insert name of product] before I commit to buying.

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You must be a sustainably farmed mushroom because you’re really growing on me.

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How about a little roll in the Bakery Department?

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A pretty lady wasn't on my shopping list but I can be spontaneous.

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Mmm, these honey samples are so mouthwatering.

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Do you like hot chocolate? I like hot chicks.

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Do you like free samples?

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May I use those melons for my Fruit of the Loom salad?

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You elevate checking out to a mystical event worthy only of gods and champions.

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Did you know that kale is not an aphrodisiac?

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That hand spun sweater looks big enough for two to get cozy in.

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Give me your address and I'll help you put your groceries away.

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Got milk? You look like you would.

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I know you make artisan cheese, but what else can you do with your hands?

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Are you as spicy as your artisan hot sauce?

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Want to melt my beeswax candles tonight?

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These two quail eggs just fit in my hand perfectly.

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I don't care *how* many items you've got, baby, I could check you out all day long!

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Those Carhartt overalls would look even better on my floor.

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You: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.

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These groceries aren't for me. They're for my grandma.

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Are those melons fresh?

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You’ve got a box of those limited edition tattoo fruit roll-ups, and I’ve got a sugar craving and a bunch of extra spit. Let’s get it on.

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How can you tell if these things are ripe? (At produce section)

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So, how long have you been pickling these cucumbers?

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You’re so cute I’d add you to my woven basket.

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Isn’t it tuber time?

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Did you ever notice that supermarket music is actually ideal for slow dancing with strangers?

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Your name must be Lucky Charms, because you're magically delicious.

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I have been staring at you from all angles around the store but now that we're here in the checkout line I feel like it's appropriate.

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I buy chicken breast but I don't stare at it for too long because I respect what a chicken has to say.

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These plums are so soft.

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How do you like your organic, free range eggs?

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Baby, have you been eating your Campbell's soup? Because you are looking Mmm, Mmm good!

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I hope I'm on your list of things to pick up today.

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Have you ever seen a guy eat an entire can of pinto beans in under 10 seconds? Would you like to?

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Those bananas ain't got nothing on me.

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I heard milk does the body good, but man, how much have you been drinking?

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